- mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
- son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
- mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
- son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
- dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
- son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
- dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
- mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
- son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
- dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
- son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition
wait a minute this isn’t my homework
this is tumblr
how did this happen
- parent: whats 2 + 3 ?
- baby: f-f-f...
- parent: ...
- baby: 5 seconds of summer
- parent: oh no. its punk rock
i wish that there were more hours in a day and boys were nice and bread didnt make you fat
people who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people